“Always bet on black”, quipped Wesley in Passenger 57 at the height of what wasn’t a bad career for a guy who started out as a back-up dancer in Whacko Jacko’s video for Bad. He hit highs in a number of Spike Lee “joints”, the Blade Trilogy and Demolition Man. And then he kinda just disappeared, popping up in the odd B-movie that Van Damme probably turned down.

Now he’s going to jail for tax evasion.

Wesley Snipes called on famous friends to vouch for him, highlighted his clean criminal record and even wrote the government $5 million in checks — all in an effort to convince a judge that his conviction on tax charges should cost him nothing more than home detention and some public service announcements.

None of it worked. The “Blade” actor was ordered to do hard time.

Snipes was sentenced to three years in prison Thursday for failing to file tax returns, the maximum penalty — and a victory for prosecutors who sought to make an example of the action star.

Shame. How the not-really-mighty-but-sort-of-alright-at-one-stage have fallen. When the lights go out over the next few years, poor Wesley’s going to wish he only had vampires to worry about. How long will it be before the Daywalker is reduced to a Daylimper? Haha. It’s not funny, actually. Sodomy is no joke. Unless it’s delivered by a clown with a big red nose, although I suppose that once the humour subsides, you’ll be left to deal with a helluva lot more than just emotional scarring. After all, you know what they say about clowns: big shoes, big…cocks. Let’s not dress it up, ok?

Oh, Wesley. Didn’t you realise that there only two certainties in life? Why do some mothafuckers always try to ice-skate uphill? And what the fuck does that even mean?

PS. Nice hair.