Which is terrific news for all you ugly wankers out there. It seems she’s attached herself to Sean Penn lately and, let’s face it, he’s no work out of art these days. Unless we’re talking about some of that weird art. Like the guy who “expresses” himself on Hustler centrefolds. Or a bronzed turd. Who’s fooling who, huh? Seriously.

Before Penn, she was linked with some other useless James Blunt (I am, of course, referring to the cockney expression and not to the widely-reviled and so-named James Blunt of a “singer”).

It’s a pity she’s soiled goods, but that usually means you can demand a fair discount of the shelf price. Suits me, sir.

Here’s a lovely collection of gorgeous Petra snaps…and here’s another. Lovely way to start the day.