Shit, I’ve been patiently biding my time over this one, and its finally happened. I can’t tell you all exactly how relieved I am! Phew! Not that I doubted for one second that it wouldn’t last, mind you, but still. Here are her magic words:

“I’m sad to announce that I’ve called off my engagement. Over the last couple months I’ve realized that this is the right decision for me. We remain best of friends, and I’ll always love him. I hope people will respect my privacy during this emotional time” (via AP).

The “I’ll always love him” schpiel is overplayed and cliched, and doesn’t bother me in the slightest. Its a magazine pleaser, and is about as sincere as “we remain best of friends“.

*cough cough bullshit cough cough*

Let’s see how friendly they are when he catches her with her ankles around my ears. Boy, will I be grinning like Michael Jackson in a rumpus room. Ha ha!

And to think I was having a bad morning. I love you, Paris. Hilton. Not the Greek fishmonger.