In the past few weeks there’s been some low-level buzz (i.e. probably lies) that Ang will be following in the footsteps of Michelle Pfeiffer and Halle Berry by slipping into Catwoman’s skin-tight rubbers for the next Batman movie. Personally, I think it’s a grand idea - ever since the old Billy Bob Thornton “vials of blood” days, I’ve been scared shitless of her. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t like to grease her up and introduce her to my better half, but I don’t think I’d actually relax during coitus itself for fear that she’d jam an egg-beater up my nought or eat my head off after she’s had her 9 or 10 orgasms (that’s me playing it safe, ladies). Guess that makes her a pretty good candidate for Catwoman then!

In any event, tabloid gossip has escalated into what seems to be partially-substantiated rumour: Angie has been chatting with her mate Tera Patrick about how best to tackle the role. If I had a vagina to drip from, I’d be holding back a tsunami right now. Apparently Tera has some good ideas of her own, but let’s get one thing straight, shall we? An Oscar-winner does not need tips in method from a pornstar, however revolutionary or original she may be. Unless…fuck, I’m not going to feed you the obvious sequitur here. But I’m really looking forward to an R-rated, S & M and rubber-fetish adult extravaganza in the next installment. Particularly the bit where Catwoman lets a bunch of randy bodybuilders slip all kinds of gobby implements into her, um, pussy. Blockbuster porn: the undiscovered country! And the salami’s salvation. Bring it on!

Postscript: incidentally, I heard on the radio this morning that Billy Bob Thornton will be taking on the role of Freddy Krueger in the next Nightmare on Elm Street flick. Haha. And Freddy Krueger will return the favour in the upcoming Billy Bob Thornton biopic. Scary!

Meet Ukrainian hottie Dasha Astafieva, Playboy’s Playmate of the Year for 2007…and the latest object of Hef’s affections. So much so that it’s causing a ruckus amongst Hef’s three current girlfriends, Holly, Bridget and Kendra. I’m not surprised. Frankly, if I’d been poking around with his idiot blonde posse for as long as he has, I’d be gagging for some Dasha. She’s fit as a fiddle!

Well, apparently Hef’s been going on dates with her and is constantly hanging around at her photo shoots. Bastard. And this is going to be be toughest on Hef’s Number One Airhead Holly, who’s been hanging around the mansion for years letting her vacant nut inflate with sugar-coated wedding and baby dreams. Come to the Salami, honey. We’ll cuddle for a while and you can cry on my shoulder and tell me about your shattered hopes and then I’ll put on some slow jams and violate you. Course, I’d much rather take Dasha, but I’ll settle for Hef’s doggy bag any day.

Click here and here for more nsfw of delicious Dasha.

Well, the spelling’s a bit off (should be “Rabobi’s”, I think), but you get the picture. Spiderman is crashing in Berea these days. He must have fallen on hard times if he’s hitting the Durbs scene. Shame. What next, a condo in East London?

Thanks to Kev for the photo.

Aaah, it’s good to be the king. I’m not even sure that a caption is necessary.

Vintage.

Double-header this weekend: Charlie’s Angels 2’s Bosley (left) and South Park’s Chef(right) kicked it on Saturday and Sunday respectively, Mac from pneumonia (having previously been diagnosed with sarcoidosis, a disease that affects the immune system) and Hayes from a suspected heart attack.

Coincidently, both co-star in the upcoming movie Soul Men, which I’d never planned on watching anyway.

Sad weekend then.

Man, these guys know how to party. Did someone spike their sacramental wine with speed? Or are they just high on the Holy Spirit? Lucky bastards. I asked my weed guy the other night if he could get his hands on some sweet Holy Spirit, but no luck. Apparently there’s a serious drought at the moment, and a huge shipment was seized last weekend at the airport in Jerusalem. Sucks.

God, these monkeys are going to feel soooo embarrassed when they vrek and finally realise that their guy had been selling them powdered sherbet instead of real Holy Spirit all along. Because everyone knows that you can’t just “buy” Holy Spirit powder. That’s ridiculous! That’s blasphemy! It comes in rocks, idiots. For smoking.

Haha. Religion: letting people make complete, oblivious tools of themselves since, um, 50,000 BC.

Aw, come on! Everyone knows that funny is a function of tragedy and time. And the closer you cut the time, the funnier the joke.

This is funny.

Thanks R Cyrus.

Bill O’Reilly gives Mr T an opportunity to set the record straight about his banned Snickers commercial.

BA definitely cleared things up for me. I like the way he presents his defence - a good a mix of logic, reasoning, agro and anecdotal analogy. As he says, the speed walker in question shouldn’t take the abuse personally, because Mr T has been pitying fools for over 28 years now.

Boy, he does like to get worked up.

Lily Allen lets her boob flop out for the paps. Again.

Click on the pic for the nsfw version. Nothing spectacular, but as good a nip slip as you’ll get. Unless you’re Tara Reid.

Fine, it hasn’t been that long since I last stuck up some Krupa pics, but I just found these mildly nsfw ones from a German Maxim spread. And let’s face it: she’s hot.

I do like her. She makes my penis grin.