Dear Lord, I should have worn my rubber undies today! This is one of the funniest news bits I’ve read in a long time. And, once again, it comes courtesy of New Zealand, the country which boasts the highest rate of laughing stock per capita in the world.
Wellington – A New Zealand judge has slammed parents who called their child Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii and ordered she be given a more suitable name.
“It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap,” Family Court Judge Rob Murfitt said, ruling that the nine-year-old be made a guardian of the court until she gets a new name.
The judge told the paper that Family Court judges were “dismayed by the eccentricity of names” that parents were giving their children, citing twins named Fish and Chips and Benson and Hedges (a brand of cigarettes).
Other names included Number 16 Bus Shelter, Midnight Chardonnay, Fat Boy, Cinderella Beauty Blossom, Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, the judge said. (more)
“Here’s to Fat Boy and the way he does Talula! Hoo-la-la! Hoo-la-la!”
Wooohooohooo! I haven’t cried like this since I came home to find that my pet badger Wayne had tied a plastic bag around his head and drowned himself in the toilet. Which is puzzling, because we keep the plastic bags in a drawer and badgers aren’t known for being handy with drawers. Or plastic bags. Or tying things. I still suspect foul play. And I know my housemate was a bit pissed after Wayne schtoeped his girlfriend. That badger had an enormous dong.
Wayne might be a hysterical name in its own right, but some of these are absolute gems. The BBC expands with some other ones that were mentioned, including Yeah Detroit, Violence, Stallion, Twisty Poi, Keenan Got Lucy (althought the BBC and SAPA probably confused Got Lucky and Keenan Got Lucy, which I guess would probably be Keenan Got Lucky). Sex Fruit must cringe everytime he/she meets his/her girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s parents for the first time. “Mom, Dad – meet my girlfriend Sex Fruit. And no, Mom – just because she has a name like that doesn’t make her a filthy yeast-infected whorebag; the fact that she’s rimmed all the guys and most of the girls in my junior high class and refers to her uterus as “Jizz Junction” is a different kettle of fried crisps altogether”.
Only in New Zealand. Ridiculous place.
Fish and Chips. HahaHA.