Life’s been hectic the past few weeks for the salami. I’m off for Rio tomorrow to kick off a 4-and-a-half month tour of South America. As always, I’ll do my best to keep the posts flowing (and I promise not to let Splattermail degenerate into a retarded travel blog), but there’ll probably be a bit of a lull over the next day or two while I find my feet.

I have a shit life.

As it is, I’m going to sign off with this post for today. I’m off to Zulu’s this afternoon to watch South Africa kick Australia in the fucking vagina until they cry little the pathetic little girls that they are! If ever there were a grudge match, it’s this one: a chance for South Africa to redeem their smashing ‘99 World Cup semi-final performance. And I have a good feeling. And it’s more than just the snug feeling of a warm laptop on my balls through flimsy y-fronts.

I trust you’ll all be scheduling your workdays accordingly. This is not a match you want to miss.