Yip. There’s a new Spears in the family. Little sister Jamie Lynn, who got knocked up by her bf Casey Aldridge while she was technically still jailbait, gave birth yesterday morning to a beautiful, bouncing baby girl, whom the couple have named Maddie Briann.

I actually have no evidence to prove that little Maddie is either beautiful or bouncing. And despite her misleading initials, there’s absolutely no evidence whatsoever to suggest that little Maddie is the holder of a postgraduate business degree. In fact, given that her auntie is a tired old sack of Hicksville saturated fats and her mother clearly managed to fail Sex Ed at school, I’d say that poor little Maddie has probably started off the Race of Life with a pair of 10kg weights shackled to her ankles.

That’s enough baby-bashing for one day. But best you get used to it, Maddie Briann (I’m still puzzled by the middle name), because the Spears carnival is always in town.