Kiefer Sutherland has had his share of amusing booze-tinted spotlight moments in recent years, but this time the cops are taking a bit of a harder line. Instead of shipping him off to the Chinese or making him kill his own family, they´ve now taken the extreme measure of sticking him in the dock for 48 days. Oh horror. That´s like masturbation time in a presidential suite for Jack. He´s not going to learn any fucking lessons at all.
The Emmy-winning actor will be heading to jail later this year after pleading no contest Tuesday to a misdemeanor charge stemming from his Sept. 25 DUI bust. Sutherland did not appear in court but his attorney entered the plea on his behalf.
Sutherland, 40, won’t be formally sentenced until Dec. 21, but the 24 star has already agreed to the 48-day jail sentence—30 days on the DUI charge and 18 days for probation violation— recommended by the City Attorney’s Office. (View the sentencing recommendation.)
After he’s sentenced he must immediately serve 18 days, which will coincide with 24’s winter production hiatus, and then he’ll have until July 1, 2008, to fulfill the remainder of his sentence.
“I’m very disappointed in myself for the poor judgment I exhibited recently, and I’m deeply sorry for the disappointment and distress this has caused my family, friends and coworkers on 24 and at 20th Century Fox,” Sutherland said in a statement.
What the fuck is this? Jack Bauer never apologises! If Jack fucks you over, the best you´re likely to get is a “Dammit!” and a bullet in the leg. He´s getting soft. Maybe he´s not drinking hard enough anymore? I hope he serves time in a cell with five enormous, angry, gay bodybuilders called Clyde 1 through 5 – that´ll keep him a little more occupied…and in good shape to save the world from the sociopathic aliens that are currently plotting a lava-gun attack on Los Angeles in season 7. Shit, LA´s a more dangerous place to live these days than Cabot Cove!
PS. I´ve been in and out of internet reception over the past two weeks. Fuck all electricity on the Lost City trek (details to come when I could be arsed) and a ridiculous dial-up connection in Taganga haven´t helped. But I´ll be back in London next weekend, so things should revert to normal!! I expect you´re so excited you just schpunked your pants. I know I did!