Got a bit bored of the beach today (shame), so popped down to our local Copacabana Roxy to watch Spiderman 3 (or Homem-Aranha 3, as the Brazilians so eloquently translate it).

It was fun. I could stop there, but I won’t.

A mathematician would very quickly explain that the cheese-factor in the Spiderman franchise is quite clearly exponential. And this episode truly is quality fromage. Unabashedly so. Not that a bit of cheese is bad, mind you. But Sam Raimi (who wrote, produced and directed the flick) sure lays it on thick this time.

Here’s the synopisis: Spiderman 3 is a sequence of good action sequences and hammy soliloquies and dialogues strung together by a shockingly thin story. And when I say thin, I actually mean bulimic. It’s vomitous at times. Really nauseating.

The action sequences are great, mind you. Although I do question the inclusion of three major Spiderman villains in one movie. The Green Goblin is a bit of a twat. The Sandman is pretty cool. Venom, on the other hand, steals the whole movie. Venom rocks. But the multiple-villain vibe smacks a bit of Batman and Robin…and we all know how “special” that movie was.

There are some cute cameos in the film – a notable highlight is the whimsical and eauver-the-top maitre d’ played by Raimi stalwart and Evil Dead icon, Bruce Campbell. Sterling stuff. Very amusing. Although Raimi should probably be a little more sparing with his in-jokes in future: a Spiderman picture is no fingering session in the playground bushes. It’s the real deal, and he should treat it as such.

All in all, the flick is quality, easy-going entertainment and it gets a solid, big thumb in the bottom from the Salami. Check it out. Expect to cover your eyes in embarrassment when the schmalz comes oozing out the screen, however. But as long as you\re prepared to suspend disbelief for a few hours and immerse yourself in the fantasy, you’ll have a blast.

I hope this all makes sense. I’m hammered at the moment and, frankly, I think this is a cracking review.

I’m going to go and chew on a Gaviscon or two and try not to paint my bunk-bed. Laters.