Meet Ukrainian hottie Dasha Astafieva, Playboy’s Playmate of the Year for 2007…and the latest object of Hef’s affections. So much so that it’s causing a ruckus amongst Hef’s three current girlfriends, Holly, Bridget and Kendra. I’m not surprised. Frankly, if I’d been poking around with his idiot blonde posse for as long as he has, I’d be gagging for some Dasha. She’s fit as a fiddle!
Well, apparently Hef’s been going on dates with her and is constantly hanging around at her photo shoots. Bastard. And this is going to be be toughest on Hef’s Number One Airhead Holly, who’s been hanging around the mansion for years letting her vacant nut inflate with sugar-coated wedding and baby dreams. Come to the Salami, honey. We’ll cuddle for a while and you can cry on my shoulder and tell me about your shattered hopes and then I’ll put on some slow jams and violate you. Course, I’d much rather take Dasha, but I’ll settle for Hef’s doggy bag any day.