So here’s some background: a while back, the British Humanist Association ran an advertising campaign on buses throughout the UK that went a little something like this.

Naturally, the religious types got their knickers in a twist about it and raised a huge stink. Because that’s what they do. If zealots were superheroes, their superpower would be to get super-offended a lot. Dickholes.

Then along comes Alpha. I’ve never been to an Alpha meeting myself, but I understand that they’re the Christian equivalent of Amway or tupperware parties. But Alpha’s nothing new: it’s been around for a while, and it seems to have been pretty successful in selling Jesus. So far.

Alpha’s latest advertising campaign in London piggy-backs on the BHA’s efforts with the following earth-shattering question: “Does God exist?”. This is followed by three boxes: “Yes”, “No” and “Probably”. The city (particularly the tube) is literally plastered with god knows (if he exists) how many of these bloody Alpha posters.

What exactly is Alpha? Well, according to the website:

“Alpha is an opportunity for anyone to explore the Christian faith in a relaxed setting over ten thought-provoking weekly sessions, with a day or weekend away.”

Let me get this straight. I want to find out whether God exists, right? Right. So I come along to your meeting and we try and work out the answer to the question, right? That’s correct. And the discussion is modern, relevant and open – none of that evangelical flippity-floppity on the floor bullshit, right? Bang on again. And at the end of the 10 sessions, if I realise that God doesn’t exist, that’s cool right? Absolutely…apart from the bit where you burn in fiery damnation for eternity.

Oh.

Sounds like a balanced, open discussion to me.

But the best part is this: pop on over to Alpha’s smart website and take their “Does God Exist?” poll.

The results are just too beautiful for words.

Back to the drawing board, guys.

*Update:Seems people are ticking the boxes on posters all over the UK!