I’ve been feeling particularly in love with Amber Heard after seeing Zombieland (watch this space) a few days ago. Which is why I was so happy to find these pictures of her in the UK’s FHM November issue.

If I could only get just one shot to let her see what a great guy I am, I know she would love me back. I know it.

Course, after finding this nasty little clip of Amber prancing around topless (nsfw) and being groped by some pimply, sweaty little shitheads in the Brett Easton Ellis-penned The Informers, I’m having my doubts.

She makes me feel dirty inside. And, to be honest, she broke my heart a little.

And by the way, Amber: that music video on the tv totally sucks too.