I’m off for a whistle-stop 10-day visit to the US East Coast, and it’s unlikely there’ll be much posting before 1 September (unless latent contributor smg decides to grace us all with his wit). I know you’ll be alright without me.
Take care, keep it real and see you on the flipside.
Ciao.
Salami

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This is something worth checking out - an Aussie bird has put the dirty undies and condom wrapper that betrayed her sneaky husband’s affair up for auction on eBay. If you’re interested in the item specifics, here we go:
Weirdness: Really Weird, unique, unusual
Condition: Used - BUT ONLY ONCE
Subject Area: Adult, immature
Year: Knowing him, under 20 [...]

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Man, these guys know how to party. Did someone spike their sacramental wine with speed? Or are they just high on the Holy Spirit? Lucky bastards. I asked my weed guy the other night if he could get his hands on some sweet Holy Spirit, but no luck. Apparently there’s a serious drought at the [...]

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Here’s a happy Jerry Springer couple if ever I heard one:
Ness City, Kansas - A man whose girlfriend sat on a toilet for so long that the seat adhered to her body will spend six months on probation.
Kory McFarren pleaded no contest last month to a misdemeanor count of mistreatment of a dependent adult. A [...]

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Dear Lord, I should have worn my rubber undies today! This is one of the funniest news bits I’ve read in a long time. And, once again, it comes courtesy of New Zealand, the country which boasts the highest rate of laughing stock per capita in the world.
Wellington - A New Zealand judge has slammed [...]

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Not exactly new if you live in the UK, but for the benefit of those less fortunate here’s Heinz’s Deli Mayo commercial that was pulled from the telly a month or so ago after pea-brained, inbred parents complained that they objected to having to explain homosexuality to their young kids.
The salami’s proposition: if you [...]

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Oh, well - there go the ratings. And my lunch.
17-year-old Chloe Marshall is making history this weekend as she becomes the first ever size 16 girl to take part in the Miss England final. (more)
Some retards folk think that a move like this is progressive. Well, those people should all be invited to a [...]

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I’m guessing a number of you will have already heard the toe-curling voicemails left on Olga’s phone by the mysterious Dimitri the Douchebag. But if you haven’t, and you’re up for a crash-course in How To Scare The Bejesus Out Of The Ladies, have a listen to this awesome ballsup:

The clip is accompanied by the [...]

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South Park’s Trey Parker and Matt Stone present the latest installment in the life and times of Princess the puppy. Too adorable.
Thanks Riley Cyrus.
(Ok, it’s not exactly new, but it’s still great.)

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I don’t get the title to this video (which appears to be a somewhat dated clip from classy American staple Geraldo), but…wait, I don’t quite get the point of this douche’s routine either. It is spectacular. Laugh all you want, but the guy’s got skills. He’s at least the third most talented spikey-leather-wearing-sai-
swinging-bouffant-dancing-testicle that I’ve [...]

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