Its a simple, quick plea: please, please, please…whoever is in charge of deciding where to set up new Hooters franchises, give South Africa a thought!?

Hooters: “Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined“. Music to my ears.

Sure, we finally got Macdonalds in 1995 or so. And that has been fantastic. But still no Burger King. And, more importantly, no Hooters. Why? Is it that they don’t feel there’s a market? Because, quite honestly, I’m not asking for a Hooters on every fucking street corner. One in Sandton, or even out in fucking Midrand, would be just perfect. You’d get starving, horny men driving from miles around just to savour Hooters’, um, cuisine and to share in the spreading of a little manly mayonnaise.

And let’s not even start with HootersAir! Kulula and 1Time!? Gimme a fucking break. And then lick my balls. I’d pay a good deal extra for the simple luxury of being able to drop my peanuts in the aisle, just so that a smiling, busty koffiemoffie flight attendant could retrieve them for me.

Man, I’d be able to join the Mile High Club without even leaving my seat. Or removing my pants, for that matter.

In some concerning respects, we still live in a fucking backwards country.

Oh yes! Click here to see a gallery of Hooters babes. Just so that we all know what we’re missing out on.