Sort of. I’m not sure how many of you realise this, but did you know that Tuesday, 29 April 2008 bore witness to what is being hailed as the launch of the most lucrative opening week in entertainment history – the arrival of Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto IV for the PS3 and the XBox? Commentators are throwing about first-week figures of between $400 and $500 million (somewhere between 9 and 12 million units) and there seems to be universal assent amongst critics that the game is near flawless (ratings are averaging at around the 99% mark). Nice job, guys.

Not convinced yet? Consider this: the biggest movie opening in history belongs to last year’s Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End, which grossed $332 million internationally in its opening weekend (other sources put it at as high as $404 million for its first six days), snatching the record from Spiderman 3 which opened only a few months before it.

If the smart people are right, Grand Theft Auto IV will have kicked Hollywood in the nuts by the middle of next week. Hectic, hey?

Think this is a freak occurrence, do you? Not quite. The previous biggest launch in entertainment history was that of Halo 3 for the Xbox. That went on to make $300 million in its opening week (shifting 5 million units).

The figures may fluctuate from source to source, but one thing is abundantly clear: the golden age of the movie could be drawing to a close. Ooooooooh.

But this is nothing new. Anyone who’s occasionally picked up a console will have realised that video game production quality has come a long way since the days of Montezuma’s Revenge or Leisure Suit Larry. Developers started casting notable Hollywood acting “talent” as far back as the Wing Commander series, and creative heavyweights including James Cameron, the Wachowski Brothers and Peter Jackson have all got stuck into video games in recent years. Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, the pioneers of the modern blockbuster, have been actively involved in the industry for years: Spielberg created the Medal of Honor series and Lucas has developed the Star Wars franchise extensively for medium. Jackson has recently been linked with a Halo-based series for the Xbox:

“More and more I’m looking forward to the release of games and not movies. I am more aware and excited about games.
“I do not have to keep delivering stories as movies – there are other things I can do.

“Technology is at a point where we can blend a lot of film storytelling with interactive entertainment.”

The market is keeping pace, mind you. As of March this year, US sales of gaming hardware and software had jumped 57% from the same time last year:

Sales of gaming hardware, software and accessories hit $1.7 billion in March, led by Nintendo Co Ltd’s Wii console, which posted its biggest non-holiday month ever, according to market research firm NPD.

This is BIG business, people:

Fueled by the success of Nintendo’s Wii and Microsoft’s “Halo 3,” more video games were sold in the U.S. in 2007 than in any other year, with retail sales hitting $17.94 billion, according to the NPD Group.

The market researcher said total video game sales grew 43 percent, up from $12.53 billion in 2006. In December, historically the industry’s strongest month, Americans spent $4.82 billion on video games, up 28 percent from a year earlier and up 83 percent from $2.63 billion in November. (MSNBC)

Now, compare this to Hollywood’s performance in 2007:

Worldwide ticket sales also rose, taking in an all-time high of $26.7 billion–up 4.7 percent from 2006.

4.7% versus 57%. Sure, I’m not exactly expressing statistical competence here, but the evidence is crystal clear. Video games are nipping at the heels of Hollywood like a Jack Russell with a grudge.

I’m not going to get into the merits of Grand Theft Auto IV, because I haven’t had a chance to mess around with it yet. We know its controversial and that Hillary Clinton hates it, but what’s the fuss really about?

“Grand Theft Auto IV is a violent, intelligent, profane, endearing, obnoxious, sly, richly textured and thoroughly compelling work of cultural satire disguised as fun,” read a review in The New York Times.

The game, which rewards players for mass killing, carjacking and gambling and also includes drink driving and simulated sex with prostitutes, has raised the ire of family lobby groups, who say it could influence the real-life behaviour of young players. (SMH)

Course, when compared with the movies nominated for top Oscar honours this year, none of the above really seems all that bad. If it still bothers you, you can always move to Australia, where they peddle a slightly more family-friendly rendition:

Murderous rampages, picking up prostitutes, visiting strip clubs for private lap dances and drink driving are all present in the Australian release but the act of having sex with hookers in one’s car has been toned down.

Much better for the little ones.

I popped down to HMV at lunch to buy a copy, but the guy at the counter laughed at me when I asked for one. “They’ve been sold out since lunchtime yesterday, mate”, he told me. When I asked if he knew where I could get a copy, he replied: “If you can find one, someone’s not doing their job”.

I will get one. If it’s the last thing I ever do (this week).

GTA IV aside, I hope you’ve all learned something interesting today. Video gaming (and specifically online gaming) is taking over, and it’s not being shy about it. So when your significant mother other finds you on the couch at 3am with advanced carpal tunnel syndrome and a disturbingly unresponsive schlong, don’t fret – just tell her you’re ahead of the times, and that she’d better start learning to love the NoSexBox fast, because her lot’s only going to get worse.