This is something worth checking out – an Aussie bird has put the dirty undies and condom wrapper that betrayed her sneaky husband’s affair up for auction on eBay. If you’re interested in the item specifics, here we go:

Weirdness: Really Weird, unique, unusual
Condition: Used – BUT ONLY ONCE
Subject Area: Adult, immature
Year: Knowing him, under 20 year
Type: Weak Type – IQ of a cabbage

The story itself is fairly lengthy and I suggest you read it for yourself. Basically, Annastella007’s suspicions were aroused when she got an unusual text message (also known as an “sms”) from her husband just a few hours after leaving him at home before she went to work. It read “Where are you darling, I’m waiting”. She got home to find him sitting on the couch. He tried to keep her from going into the bedroom, so she strolled in and checked the linen. Which is when she found the knickers and the dome wrapper. Eina.

Now this is where the story gets really amusing. You have to marvel at the sheer tenacity and determination of the male sex. This is why guys rule.

Explanations were needed pronto and would you beleive it, he actually came up with some. They were all a pack of lies and instead of admitting it, apologizing and starting to grovel, this is what he came up with. ‘I dropped my phone down the toilet, I didn’t want to put my hands down there and I could’t get it out with the toilet brush so I used a condom because I couldn’t find any rubber gloves’. Well, well, well, that was thinking on your feet eh! She thought she had heard it all now but figured she would see how big a hole he really was keen to dig for himself so she then asked. ‘ When was that then and where did you get the condom from?’. He replied, ‘It happened just after you left for work and I rummaged around and found one in the pocket of an old jacket in the wardrobe’. ‘So how is your phone then, is it working?’ she asked… ‘No, it’s stuffed’, he replied. ‘So how do you explain sending me a text message a couple of hours after I was at work then’. ‘What message? It wasn’t from me, my phone’s not working’, he replied but noticed he had gone a funny shade of green as it began to sink in that he had actually sent the text to her by mistake. ‘What about these knickers then, what are they doing in our bed and whose are they’, she asked thinking to herself, this will be good. She wasn’t disappointed, as blatant as lies go, it was a classic. ‘Sorry love, I’ve been meaning to tell you for years but I am a closet transvestite and they are mine’.

Never give up, never surrender: a dude mantra if ever there was one. Shit, if Winston Churchill had been a chick, we’d all be speaking German and drinking weisbeer poolside at Kelvin Grove (some of you may be a little young for the Kelvin jibe – ask your parents). Yes, we lose out in the inconsequentials like this story, but every lie we persist with makes us stronger, and when the day comes to rise against an insurmountable foe, it will be the successful philanderers (excluding Solly), career cheaters and all-round real men who will be first into and last out of the breach. As legend goes, the mighty Leonidas repeatedly denied meeting his ex-girlfriend for coffee simply to catch up on old times, despite incessant interrogation by his hormonal wife, and look what happened to him. If it hadn’t been for his fierce devotion to that little white lie, he simply wouldn’t have been prepared for Thermopylae and, well, 300 would’ve run for about as long as a Looney Tune in the cinema.

Let this be a lesson to us all.