Which is terrific news for all you ugly wankers out there. It seems she’s attached herself to Sean Penn lately and, let’s face it, he’s no work out of art these days. Unless we’re talking about some of that weird art. Like the guy who “expresses” himself on Hustler centrefolds. Or a bronzed turd. Who’s [...]

[Read more →]

Not only is the French president the step-father of Mick Jagger’s bastard (which also means he gets regular schtoepage out of Mick’s sloppy seconds, model and first lady Carla Bruni), but he’s also a belligerent drunk, as evidenced in these priceless YouTube clips:

Here he is arriving at a press conference at last year’s G8 summit [...]

[Read more →]

Just got back from watching “Juno” at the Picturehouse and I’m settling in for E!’s coverage of the Oscar red carpet. Doubt I’ll make the actual ceremony, but “Die Hard” is on itv, I’ve got a litre of chocolate milk in the fridge and my popcorn’s almost ready, so the evening’s far from over. Sweet.
Two [...]

[Read more →]

To be honest, I’m very disappointed that a throw-away post I wrote when I first arrived in Rio about 10 months ago is still receiving tons of hits daily and attracting some strongly-worded comments. Clearly it touched a nerve. It hurts when you touch a nerve, I’m sure you’ll agree. It pyns when your hairy-fisted [...]

[Read more →]

There wasn’t much on the telly last night so we settled into the 2008 Brit Awards, which actually turned out to be deadly entertainment. The musical highlight of the show was undoubtedly Rihanna singing “Umbrella” against the Klaxons’ “Golden Skans” (above), which worked out bloody well if you ask me. Definitely a case of one [...]

[Read more →]

This time she’s got them out for realsies. I think there might even be a bit of minge tucked away behind the sheet as well. I find that a little confusing, because I’d been told that Lindsay actually has a vestigial penis sprouting from her flaps, but I couldn’t find it. And I looked. [...]

[Read more →]

Wow. I thought he was going to die in the hot seat! But I like this even better - when last did a figure in Fidel’s position just resign? Bob Mugabe should be taking notes.
Ailing Cuban leader Fidel Castro said on Tuesday that he will not return to lead the country, retiring as head [...]

[Read more →]

From Kakduidelik:
Moffie in salon: “Ek wens ek het meer bors hare gehad”.
‘n Vrou wat dit hoor sê dat sy het gehoor vaseline help, en dat hy elke aand ‘n bietjie moet aansmeer..
Die moffie klap sy tong en met een pap handjie in die lig haak hy af:
“Ag nou praat jy kak doll, dan moes daar [...]

[Read more →]

…to “Splattermail’s Technical Department, Blue Moon Contributor and resident Ginger Step-son” smg for sucking it up and popping the big Q to his missus on Saturday. It’s been a long time coming, but I think the wait has made the whole event all the more exciting. Nice one, dude.

[Read more →]

Awesome. Awesome. I’m wearing my cowboy hat to work.

[Read more →]