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Entries from August 2007

Owen Wilson is really, really, ridiculously suicidal

August 31st, 2007 · Comments

Even the most blest of us have problems sometimes. Owen Wilson, the Butterscotch Stallion, is no exception. And because being really, really, ridiculously rich and famous and sexy and funny and rich and having super powers just sometimes isn´t enough, Owen Wilson slit his wrists. But he didn´t die.
Police were called to Owen Wilson’s [...]

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Tags: celeb gossip

Happy (belated) birthday to us!

August 31st, 2007 · Comments

You can tell things aren´t running as smoothly as they should be when you miss your own birthday. I was quite upset last night when I realised that Splattermail´s third birthday was on 26 August…and I missed it. Still, that´s no reason not to celebrate properly tonight. So, if anyone´s keen, pop down to the [...]

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Tags: Uncategorized

metaphors

August 30th, 2007 · Comments

how many can you count?

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Tags: Uncategorized

An unusual request

August 24th, 2007 · Comments

Splattermail receives loads of interesting emails eveyday (we also receive heaps of shitty ones and lots of porn spam), but the following one caught my attention immediately and got me to thinking: why the fuck did this weirdo contact me of all people? Do I come across as being a complete fucking freakshow? I´m a [...]

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Tags: Uncategorized

Tom Cruise snores and is also ugly and stupid

August 24th, 2007 · Comments

Loving this. Loving (!!!) this! A bit. Not really, actually.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes sleep in separate rooms because the actor snores so loudly, it has been claimed.
The couple, who married in Italy last year, have master bedrooms in separate wings so Katie can get her “beauty sleep”. (News24)
Couldn´t really be arsed to lash [...]

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Tags: celeb gossip

Britney´s new single

August 24th, 2007 · Comments

I know you´ve been waiting for this as patiently as I have, so let´s enjoy it together, shall we? Britney has finally released her new single (listen to it here courtesy of Perez Hilton), and it´s not actually as bad as we were probably all expecting (whilst secretly hoping for something as smashing as Hit [...]

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Tags: celeb gossip · music

Earthquake in Peru

August 24th, 2007 · Comments

Unless you´re smg and happen to live inside your own ass, you might have heard about the devestating earthquake that hit Peru last week. 7.9 on the Richter scale, baby! And we were a mere 30 minutes away from the worst-hit city when it struck. Pretty hectic. I was napping on the third [...]

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Tags: news

Caterina Murino

August 14th, 2007 · Comments

Caterina Murino. Courtesy of GorillaMask. Quite sublime, isn´t she? It´s times like these that I mourne the loss of my one-on-one sexytime. As I´ve complained many times before, sleeping in dorms is not exactly conducive to sweaty, moany masturbation. Although some in our group have taken to setting up so-called little “gayboxes” in their bottom [...]

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Tags: hot beeatches

Back in touch

August 14th, 2007 · Comments

I apologise profusely for being so pathetic over the past week and a bit, but Cusco and Lima have been absolutely draining. Cusco was an absolute blast when I was there 2 years ago, but this time we took it as hard as we possibly could. Don´t think I´ve ever been as irresponsible in my [...]

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Tags: Uncategorized