JPMorgan Chase employs some investment bankers. Sometimes these investment bankers leave, for some reason or other. Rarely, however, does an investment banker do it like this:
Dear Co-Workers and Managers,
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a [...]

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Finally. I do apologise for the lack of smut on Splattermail over the past few months. It´s tough cruising for poon in internet cafes, let alone banging one out without the twenty other retards huddled alongside you getting a little suspicious.
But now I find myself tucked away in a quiet corner of La Bolsa [...]

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Here´s something we don´t need.
The Spice Girls have confirmed they will reform for a world tour to take place in December and January.
The full line-up has not performed on stage since Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell quit in May 1998.
First Take That, now…Take This. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! God, I´ve been waiting a full 3 minutes to [...]

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Here it is: the first shot of Harrison Ford kitted out as Indiana Jones for the forthcoming 4th instalment, production of which commenced recently.
Awesome. And that�s all for now.

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Clearly the Hoff prefers getting recognition for being a total idiot to getting no recognition at all. Becuase he´s done quite well recently in establishing a refurbished, rebuffed image as a drunken clown.
Apparently, Mitch Buchanan now wants The Sun to print an apology in respect of a story it ran about the Hoffster getting [...]

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There aren´t many artists I´d promote without first checking their new material. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is one of the select few. Thembisa the Rivonia Road madam is the other. They´re both filthy dogs and they both know their way around a soggy cigar. Nuff said.
Here´s a newish clip of Triumph at the 2007 [...]

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And no, I don´t mean “bored” as in, like, “bored” by a big-ass oil-rig. Although I´m betting she´s one of the few girls alive who could comfortably manage a sweaty DP from a couple of greasy rotary multi-combination drilling rigs. She´s a good girl, our Paris.
What with nothing to do but partake in the [...]

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Turd. That´s a play on the word “third”, in case you´re incredibly stupid or maybe just having one of those days. It´s a clever little world play.
Apparently everyone´s favourite toilet-brush, Tom “the Marzipan Donkey” Cruise, believes he is now powerful enough to actually perform weddings. With real live people. I wonder if he got his [...]

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Some more than others, it seems. IOL have a lovely little story about a dude who got caught on camera servicing his mule in a barn. And that´s not just a nice way of saying he was choking his donkey.
The owners of the barn in Corvallis, Oregon, had installed the video surveillance camera after previous [...]

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As I explained last week, the reason for my sluggish posting has been twofold: firstly, a leisurely-but-fucking-freezing 3-night ferry cruise through the Patagonian fjords in Chile, and; secondly, a 5-day camp/trek in the Torres Del Paine national park, taking in some serious hiking (approx. 100km) in sub-zero temperatures and being set-upon by snow and ice. [...]

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