What is 30 Seconds To Mars, you ask? I’m relieved that you don’t know. If you do, I trust you understand where I’m coming from and where I’m about to go to with this post.
30 Seconds To Mars is the pathetic attempt at an emo rock outfit piggy-backed desperately upon the ruins of early-nineties teen [...]

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Fuck.
Apparently it was a farce. Australia is a fucking farce.
Fuck.

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Facebook is the lamest thing ever invented in the world ever. Period.
Do I even need to go on?
I’m guessing I probably do, because pretty much every fucking twat in South Africa with a computer and dial-up (including, admittedly, the salamster) has a stupid fucking Facebook profile these days.
I’m hoping someone can please shed a little [...]

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Life’s been hectic the past few weeks for the salami. I’m off for Rio tomorrow to kick off a 4-and-a-half month tour of South America. As always, I’ll do my best to keep the posts flowing (and I promise not to let Splattermail degenerate into a retarded travel blog), but there’ll probably be a bit [...]

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Hell, this is great. And it’s not even a lame viral advert. Saw this for the first time on UK prime time tv last night and had a good laugh. Soccer…sorry, football…players are pathetic. And Mr T knows it!
“You’re gonna meet my friend pain!”. Love it! Thankfully, B.A. hasn’t (yet) been as overexploited as the [...]

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Hell, if a nervous breakdown and a month or two in rehab can turn you from a slobbering bucket of piss into a million dollar piece of ass, then stuff my face with antidepressants and call me Gwendolyn! I don’t know what’s happened (I’m suspecting a bitchslap with a liposucker), but Britney’s looking pretty [...]

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Old School’s Luke made the following comment on Jess’s acting skills in respect of their upcoming movie, Blonde Ambition:
“She’s intelligent enough to know the roles she can do a good job at – it’s not like she’s trying to play Erin Brockovich.”
Well put, Luke. Don’t hold your punches. I understand that you’re trying to promote [...]

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I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat relieved to be back in London. Don’t get me wrong – cricket tour was outstanding – but there’s only so much rum a man can manage. And I’ve finally been able to catch up on 2 weeks’ lost sleep. Living on a yacht isn’t as luxurious [...]

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Took this video off the tv. Not really sure what to say, but imagine coming up with this idea?
I think it’s the best ringtone i ever not heard.

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I was quite perturbed to learn the other day that there has been a fairly negative and serious response from the UCB and the world media to the alleged misbehaviour of certain members of the South African cricket team following the dismal New Zealand game on Saturday.
…former Proteas captain Kepler Wessels called on the [...]

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