Shit, I’m getting seriously sick of fucking internet cafes. They’re full of freaks and fat people. Not unlike the USA. Worst of all, I can’t surf for porn. Its killing me! Its been one-and-a-half weeks since I last saw a naked lady on the internet. Can you possibly understand what that’s like? Can you [...]

[Read more →]

I’m sick of it all too, but Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are officially the proud parents of Kingston James McGregor Rossdale. A boy. I guess.
I’m sorry for being such a news slut. I’m so dreadfully sorry. I’m off for a backstreet Brazilian to atone for my sins. There will probably be blood. And maybe [...]

[Read more →]

Prince Philip is the Queen’s shag-by-appointment, for those of you not in the royal mix. He’s also the least politically correct and downright hysterical public figure in the Commonwealth. Which shouldn’t be surprising, given that his missus is considerably more powerful and masculine than he is. Shame.
London – Britain’s Prince Philip had not caused offence [...]

[Read more →]

Angelina Jolie has finally squeezed out what will inevitably become the most attractiveÂ? creature everÂ? to be born. Well, only until the chorbe on my chin finally dries up. Then Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, who arrived sometime on Saturday, will slide back into second place where she belongs.
Thankfully, Brangelina seems to have settled on a name [...]

[Read more →]

I guess its about time, especially seeing as the wonderful annual Eurovision song contest has continuously produced the vilest, most evil music in the world for God knows how many years now. At least this year Eurovision finally decided to drop the act and expose itself for what it really is: a complete waste of [...]

[Read more →]

Aaah, Shane Warne: best bowler in the world, Australian hero, scourge of Cullinan and master of pies. And balding fast. Warney’s also no stranger to off-the-pitch-on-the-bitch controversy, ordinarily involving dirty sms’s to and inappropriate conversations with English nurses. And who can blame him? They’re filthy little harlots, those English nurses. Love them. Well, I’d like [...]

[Read more →]

Jeez, just logged on now and the site is looking pretty shit. Except for our smashing new banner – whaddya think? I’m quite partial to it. I like a smooth lady. Thanks, Georgie. You did good.
The problems with the comments and the sluggishness of the siteÂ? are apparently transitional, according to smg, our wannabe-techie-in-residence. I [...]

[Read more →]

Jeez, the gossip front has been so fucking boring in the past few days. There’s been way too much Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears dropping her baby and crying. Could also be that I’ve been a bit lazy in digging any deeper, but that’s my prerogative. Also, its much harder to surf for [...]

[Read more →]

Ok, so maybe I’m being a little melodramatic or something, but she doesn’t exactly have a remarkable baby-safety track record to date (particularly in light of all the baby car-seat rucus she stirred up). Thankfully, Britney’s former-gay-porn-star bodyguard was there to field young Sean Preston before he hit the pavement – word has it that [...]

[Read more →]

Well, this is officially my last post from South Africa. For a while. Sorry about the lousy picture…didn’t really have time between packing and trying to hold down my breakfast (bender of note at the splendid Tiger Tiger in Claremont last night) to put in a better effort. Besides, you could always just stick a [...]

[Read more →]