Man, call me a prissy painted-nail girly-boy if you want, but I fucking love award show season! I can almost feel my wrists relaxing at the thought of another red carpet parade! Yeah!
And the high point of the season, the Oscars, is almost upon us! And the reason I know that is because the nominees [...]

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As if it wasn’t obvious enough? If you look closely, you can see some cellulite on her thigh and a little mole on her left forearm. Disgusting. I feel nauseous just looking at her. Honestly. I really don’t get what the big fucking deal about this dumb bitch is.
GorillaMask have some more shots of her [...]

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For some, the annual J&B Met at Kenilworth is all about the ponies; for others (like myself), it presents a fantastic opportunity to catch up with old friends and get hopelessly blitzed. For one strapping Cape Town resident, however, the Met represents all this and more.
Retired professional student and part-time lady’s man, Le Riche [...]

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Man, I hate doing obituary duty. But obituaries are almost always newsworthy, and I guess I generally do it out of respect for celebrities or personalities that I sort of liked when they were alive. Chris Penn, brother of Sean, was one such dude.

Actor Chris Penn, younger brother of Sean and best remembered as Nice [...]

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Did you hear that Elton John is already getting divorced after only a few weeks of marriage? Apparently he caught his husband having sex behind his back.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Man. Its getting old, but I still love it. Elton John rocks.
That reminds me of the other one: what’s small, pink, wears glasses and plays the piano? Elton’s [...]

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Guys and girls, please accept my humblest apologies for being so slack of late. Its just, you see, that an obstacle which Splattermail has successfully avoided for almost a year-and-a-half has decided to creep in a little closer and has started to threaten the personal and professional life of the salami.
Yes, he has one. [...]

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What can I say? Fuck Chuck (Norris). Screw Mr T. Shunt Vin up the bum with a dirty old Tassies bottle. Steven Seagal is not only the most lethal man alive (once clocked as the fastest bitch slap in the East), but he also possess the singular ability to save lives. Messiah? Perhaps. Demi-god? At [...]

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If you’re looking to go and see a really, really, really ridiculously good-looking movie in the next week or so, I strongly recommend you go and see the new Johnny Cash biopic, Walk the Line. It is a truly beautiful movie, and is entirely deserving of all the accolades it has received over the past [...]

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I got stuck into a bit of E!’s pre-Golden Globe hubbub last night before bed, and picked up the post-Golden Globe interviews this morning between snippets of South Africa getting caned by Sri Lanka at the ‘Gabba. Honestly, E! was more entertaining. Particularly because of guest presenter, part-time designer and more-camp-than-Outdoor-Warehouse Isaac Mizrahi, who caused [...]

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