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Entries from April 2005

its about the vibe of the thing

April 29th, 2005 · Comments

if you’ve seen the classic australian film “the castle“, you may agree with me – newscafe’s slogan “its about the vibe” is just plain terrible.
if you havent seen the movie, do it this long weekend.
here endeth my first post in a stupidly long time.

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50 ways to get fired

April 29th, 2005 · Comments

…as if I really needed a list to help me.
I particularly like number 23, “The Christmas Gift“:
Give the hottest girl in the office a crotchless teddy for Christmas, and give everyone else a photo of you masturbating.
I think that would probably do the trick.

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Natalie Portman…topless

April 29th, 2005 · Comments

Yes…we’re very happy about it too. Courtesy of GorillaMask, Splattermail brings you some lovely pictures of cute little Natalie Portman getting her tits out on the beach.
It does kinda make you wonder whether she was at the same beach as Penelope Cruz, cos the photos do look pretty similar. Is there a beach [...]

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Tom and Katie? What the fuck!!??

April 28th, 2005 · Comments

“The Insider” has confirmed that megastar Tom Cruise and “Dawson’s Creek” cutie Katie Holmes are dating. The couple were spotted holding hands and dining out today in Rome, where Tom is accepting a David di Donatello Award for lifetime achievement, the Italian equivalent of an Oscar.
“They have been dating for a couple of weeks,” [...]

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Superduperman

April 28th, 2005 · Comments

First the rumours of a new, gay James Bond (perhaps Rupert Everett?) did the rounds. Now it seems that that the 20th century’s greatest bastion of manliness and macho bravado is getting a bit of a, um, tweaking. Doesn’t Brandon Routh look a little left of centre in his cute little blue and red jammies?
That [...]

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Don’t fuck around. Seriously!

April 26th, 2005 · Comments

Trust the bloody frogs. The French NGO AIDES has released a rather disturbing AIDS awareness campaign…and I’m pretty sure its intention is to put people off sex period.
God knows, there have been times when i’ve bumped uglies with things almost as horrendous as the gigantic scorpion in the picture, but thankfully I’ve been so [...]

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Exploding toads

April 26th, 2005 · Comments

“Visitors to Hamburg parks are being warned to watch out for exploding toads.
Several thousand toads in the city’s parks have so far mysteriously spontaneously exploded, sending entrails and toad body parts over a wide area.
Vets and animal welfare workers said the mystery has decimated the city’s toad population as well as the unpleasant problem of [...]

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Crappy childrens’ art

April 26th, 2005 · Comments

Ding Ding! Here comes the shit-mobile. I’ve never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. F
I’ve been sent to this site (or one similar) a long time ago, and I remember laughing then. This dude, Maddox, [...]

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Penelope Cruz topless

April 26th, 2005 · Comments

Yes, yes. We got Penelope Cruz horsing around in the waves sans bikini top. Actually, I think “frolicking” may be a better word that “horsing”, seeing as we’re not talking about Hillary Swank right now.
Nice boobies, Ms Cruz. Seen ‘em before, but its always nice when they’re snapped without you knowing it.
I’ve [...]

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Fetus (sic) Spears gets a blog

April 25th, 2005 · Comments

Wow. ‘Lil Fetus (sic) Spears is already blogging and podcasting. From her mother’s bloated, pockmarked antechamber.
Not really sure quite what to make of it all…its a little odd, and even a bit amusing. Sometimes.
I guess that all the bad grammar and spelling mistakes should just be attributed to the fact that the blogger isn’t [...]

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